


Rational Fears

by panickyintheuk



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, High School, M/M, Minor Allison Argent/Scott McCall, Minor Cora Hale/Lydia Martin, Minor Lydia Martin/Jackson Whittemore, Minor Scott McCall/Kira Yukimura
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-25
Updated: 2014-09-26
Packaged: 2018-02-18 18:50:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2358503
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/panickyintheuk/pseuds/panickyintheuk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Stiles is just waiting for the inevitable moment when Derek's batteries run down and it's revealed that he was an automaton the whole time, sent to earth by amphibious alien overlords to infiltrate the human race by posing as a sexy high school senior in Northern California. When that happens, Stiles wants to be there to witness it.</p>
          </blockquote>





	1. getting walked in on in public bathrooms

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Fears](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/75029) by Emma Koenig. 

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stiles is just waiting for the inevitable moment when Derek's batteries run down and it's revealed that he was an automaton the whole time, sent to earth by amphibious alien overlords to infiltrate the human race by posing as a sexy high school senior in Northern California. When that happens, Stiles wants to be there to witness it.

Monday

"What the fuck are you doing?"

"Dude, I'm so sorry!" says Stiles. Derek Hale is glaring at him from his seat, where he is - not taking a dump. Hopefully, anyway, because his pants are up. There's a book propped open in his lap, though. "The door wasn't locked, man."

"Yes it was," says Derek, glaring even harder.

"You think I broke down a locked door?" says Stiles, throwing up his hands.

"Whatever," says Derek. Wow, hard to keep up with his sparkling wit.

"Look, I'm going, but you should lock the door after me."

*

It wouldn't really be hard to avoid Derek, since he's two years ahead of Stiles, but Stiles has always made it his business to - whatever the opposite of 'avoid Derek' is. More than once he's lingered in a hallway reading and rereading the poster telling him to wear a condom (moot, but thanks), hoping to catch a glimpse of Derek coming out of the locker room. Sometimes he does his homework on the bleachers just to watch Derek run laps. It's not that he has a huge giant idiotic debilitating crush on Derek or anything, it's just totally normal scientific curiosity. Derek Hale is definitely the most attractive man Stiles has ever seen, and not just in real life - like, in movies and stuff too. He's ridiculous. Stiles is just waiting for the inevitable moment when Derek's batteries run down and it's revealed that he was an automaton the whole time, sent to earth by amphibious alien overlords to infiltrate the human race by posing as a sexy high school senior in Northern California. When that happens, Stiles wants to be there to witness it.

Maybe that's why Stiles never sees him at lunch - because he doesn't eat. And why he sits on closed toilet seats - to fool people into thinking he has human bodily functions. It all adds up.

Tuesday

Stiles decides to continue his investigation with a stakeout. His father would be proud. He's gonna spend the entirety of lunch hour hanging out in the boys' bathroom on the west side of campus, where he walked in on Derek before. His father would be _so_ proud.

He has a sneaking suspicion that Scott would not approve of this course of action, but Scott is out of school with strep throat, so it's none of his damn concern. Anyway, it's better than sitting in the lunch hall listening to Jackson Whittemore make snide comments about how he's sitting on his own.

English class, his last before lunch, is at the other end of the school, and then there's the usual crush in the halls, so it's nearly ten minutes into lunch before he gets there. Hopefully he can gather some intel quickly, and still have time to eat lunch somewhere that is not in close proximity to this much urine.

One of the stalls is already occupied, and Mandip is at one of the urinals, so Stiles pretends to pee until he leaves. It's taking too long, so then he washes his hands until he's left alone. After than he actually does need to pee, so he goes again, and while he's going some dude with a nose ring comes in. So then he has to wash his hands super thoroughly, until nose ring leaves, _without_  washing his hands. Gross.

The stall is still occupied. Maybe somebody has the runs or whatever, but there are no accompanying sounds or smells to support that theory. Stiles bends as low as he can (no way is he getting on his knees on this floor, unless - nah, not even then), and he can make out black Converse under the door. Derek wears those. Circumstantial, but he'll take a chance. He knocks on the door.

"Hello?" he calls, and is met by silence. "Uh, I know someone's in there, unless I'm just talking to a pair of shoes."

"What do you want?" comes Derek's tight voice through the door.

"What you reading?" Stiles asks him cheerfully.

"I'm taking a huge shit," says Derek. "Fuck off."

"Yeah? Big breakfast? You've been in there a while."

"Are you spying on me?"

"Uh," says Stiles. He was momentarily emboldened by his speculation being proven correct. He kind of forgot that he was also incriminating himself. "... Yeees," he says. "Because I was worried about you!"

"Fuck _off_!" says Derek.

"Look, my dad's a cop - "

"What? It's not illegal to sit in a public bathroom!"

"I was just gonna say, I was raised to do my civic duty! And it would be remiss of me not to make sure you were okay. And talking through this door is really weird, can you come out?"

"No! Leave me alone!"

"I'm not gonna leave, man. If you don't come out I'm gonna keep talking to you."

"If I _do_ come out you're going to keep talking to me."

"That... is true. But it will be easier for you to escape."

He hears a sigh, and the door unlocks. There Derek stands, holding his book open with one finger and glaring. Again. This time, Stiles is prepared for the glare, which does not reduce its effectiveness, but does divert some of its effectiveness away from the fear and embarrassment parts of his brain and towards the lust part. No, wait, he means the 'scientific curiosity about robots' part.

"So, why are you hanging out in the bathrooms at lunch?"

"Why are _you_ hanging out in the bathrooms at lunch?"

In for a penny, in for a pound, Stiles decides. "I was looking for you."

"Oh, God. I don't know what Kate's paying you, but I can probably match it if you'll leave me alone. Unless she promised you sexual favours."

"And then you can't match it?"

"And then you wouldn't want me to."

"Uhhh. You know what they say about assuming, right?"

"Trust me on this one."

"Well, I don't know who Kate is, and as far as I know she is not paying me anything. So matching it shouldn't be a problem. But since I get no remuneration either way, I think I'd rather bug you."

"What could you possibly want?" asks Derek, defeated.

"Well, _now_ I want to know who Kate is, and why you think she's paying people to spy on you."

Wednesday

Stiles decides to take the case. Of course, he only has Derek's side of the story. He believes it, but maybe he should ask around to confirm some details. He's not going to go to Kate, obviously - he's not an _idiot_ \- but he can pursue another angle.

"Go away," says Lydia.

"Seriously, Stilinski, buzz off," says Jackson, like he resents Stiles just for forcing him to expend the energy to insult him.

"I'm not here to talk to either of you," says Stiles. "I want to ask Allison something."

"She knows Scott likes her," says Lydia. "Tell Scott to grow some balls and talk to her himself."

Allison rolls her eyes. "Thanks for that, Lydia, but I'm _right here_. And Scott has strep throat, so he couldn't talk to me if he wanted to right now." Stiles files away the fact that she knows that for later. "What did you want to ask me, Stiles?"

"Uh, it's about your cousin Kate?"

Lydia chokes on a mouthful of Diet Coke and Allison coughs. "I don't think she dates sophomores," she says gently.

"This entire conversation is doing great things for my ego, by the way. No, I was just wondering, she used to date Derek Hale, right?"

Allison's expression drops. "Yes. Why do you want to know?"

"Becaaaause..." - a flash of inspiration strikes - " _I_ want to date Derek Hale!" Amazing how convincing he makes that sound, considering it's a complete lie. Date Derek Hale? Ha! Maybe in opposite land, where puny humans date alien replicants who read 'I Capture the Castle' in a bathroom stall, presumably in a futile effort to understand what this human emotion known as 'love' is! Ha! "And I just wanted to make sure he was available."

Lydia's eyes narrow. Danny looks at him pityingly. Jackson is engrossed in a pudding cup.

"Stiles, stay away from Derek Hale," Allison says warningly.

"Why?"

"It's not my place to tell, but he is _bad news_ , all right?"

Well. That fits in pretty well with Derek's story.

*

He finds Paige Newman on facebook, and sends her a private message. Then he friends Derek. To his surprise, Derek friends him back within two hours, and Stiles looks through his friend list. He knows Kira and Boyd - well, he doesn't _know_ know them, but he knows _of_ them. He sends them both private messages. He thinks Scott knows Isaac, so he sends him a friend request. Then he gets a chat.

 **Derek S Hale** : How exactly are you planning on helping  
 **Stiles Stilinator Stilinski** : i'm on it  
 **Derek S Hale** : That tells me nothing  
 **Stiles Stilinator Stilinski** : trust me bro  
 **Derek S Hale** : WHY  
 **Stiles Stilinator Stilinski** : bc it's too late now?  
 **Derek S Hale** : oh god

Thursday

By the end of the next day, he has three new messages. He checks Paige's first.

 **Paige Newman** : Hello. I don't want to go into too much detail but yes, I dated Derek Hale in NY, and yes, I had to be hospitalised soon before he moved away. No, he did not "put me in the hospital," in any sense. I don't know where the hell that came from but it is NOT TRUE. He visited me in the hospital right up until he moved, and we decided to break things off because I didn't want to do the LDR thing. We're still friends. He told me about Kate and I have no idea what her problem is but it really pisses me off that she'd make up stories about me to hurt Derek, I don't know what you think you can do about it but thanks for trying anyway

 **V M Boyd** : I really hope you're not just fucking with Derek because he doesn't deserve that shit. I know you and your buddy want to get in good with Jackson and his gang, and maybe Kate said she'd put in a good word for you or something - I don't care. If I thought Derek beat up his ex or gave her herpes or got her pregnant and ran off or whatever it is Kate's saying then I wouldn't be friends with him. I've never seen him treat women with anything but respect, and if he ever did I think his sisters would probably lock him in the basement. I'm not sure how much my word means to anyone, but that's my two cents.

 **Kira Yukimura** : Hi Stiles :) Of course I remember you, you signed my yearbook and did a really cute picture of a fox bc you overheard me saying I want to get a fox tattoo and you said you do too! Derek is one of my best friends. If you screw with him I will break your bones ;) jk. But srsly I do know karate haha

Friday

"Derek! Hey!"

Stiles is a little breathless - he went to the bathroom to find Derek there, and then he checked his phone and saw he had a message from Derek saying to meet under the bleachers, so he ran all the way here.

"Hi, Stiles. Boyd and Kira told me you'd been bugging them on facebook."

"I wouldn't say I was _bugging_ them," said Stiles. "I also messaged Paige."

"You..."

"So, Kate's obviously lying."

"I knew that already! Leave Paige alone."

"I will! I was just checking some stuff."

Derek lets out a long breath. Stiles is pretty sure he's doing some kind of anger management exercise. "Okay. So what are you planning to do _now_?"

"Well. I could try to get some dirt on Kate, or we could try to prove to people that she's lying."

"I already tried telling people - "

"I know. And if you get defensive it'll just fan the flames, and if you retaliate it's just prolonging the whole thing."

"So?"

"So, your friends really care about you, and they know you didn't do anything wrong. So maybe instead of letting some idiot high-schoolers scare you into hiding, you should come out with your head held high and sit with your friends at lunch. They obviously have your back. And that - I could be one of them. If you want."

Derek blinks. "Boyd says you and your friend Scott are always trying to get in with Jackson Whittemore and that crowd. Allison Argent is one of them. If you hang out with me - "

"Yeah, okay, first of all, I _hate_ Jackson Whittemore. I've been sending Lydia Martin a Valentine's Day card every year since we were eight, and she is currently his girlfriend, through some lapse of judgement. Allison is _her_ friend, which suggests better judgement. I don't want anything to do with _Jackson_. And, yeah, Scott has a crush on Allison Argent, and that could get awkward. But he's just gonna have to make up his own mind about that. If Allison's worth dating, she'll hear you out. That's if he ever gets up the courage to ask her out in the first place. So... how about it? Lunch?"

Derek nods slowly. "Okay. Lunch."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know how American high schools work. Don't overthink it. I clearly didn't...


	2. two people i introduced becoming better friends with each other than they are with me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When the hell did Derek and Scott talk about Derek's paper? Was this all while he was visiting his grandmother, or have they been hanging out without him apart from that?

"What the hell, Scotty?!"

"Uh... you're gonna have to be more specific?"

"Derek just instagrammed a photo of you two in the woods."

"You knew we went camping. We would have invited you, but you were in Seattle that weekend, remember?"

"Yeah, but HASHTAG WOLF BROTHERS? Matching friendship necklaces?!"

"That was just a joke! See, we found this gift shop that had all these hand-carved -"

"Yes, thank you, I do not need to hear this story again. It was so heart-warming the first time, I'm not sure I could take it."

"Dude, you know I'd rather hang out with you, any time. You really are a brother to me."

"Yeah, I know," mutters Stiles.

"Unless that's not the problem," Scott says slyly. "Are you worried that I might take Derek away from you?"

"Please."

"If you just told him how you feel - "

"I don't have feelings, Scott! I mean, do I find him attractive? Sure. But am I, what, in _love_ with him?" He splutters out a satirical laugh. Scott just looks at him blandly. "Come on! If I'm in love with anyone, it's obviously Lydia! I've always had feelings for Lydia. I will probably die with feelings for Lydia."

"I don't think you can actually die of feelings," says Derek, from behind him. Stiles nearly falls out of his chair.  
  
"Jesus fuck, Derek! You scared the shit out of me! How long were you standing there?" He casts a desperate look at Scott, who just shakes his head. Stiles isn't totally sure what to do with that.

"1.8 seconds, at a guess? I left my stopwatch in my other jacket, though."

"Ha ha," says Stiles weakly as Derek slides into the seat next to him, with a _salad_ of all things.

"Rabbit food again, huh?" he says, nudging Derek. Derek doesn't smile.

"He doesn't mean it like that," says Scott.

"What? I don't mean what like what?"

"Derek thinks you're making fun of his teeth," says Scott.

"Your _teeth_?" Stiles turns to Derek. "Why would I make fun of your teeth?"

"You know," says Derek, gesturing at his mouth, which gives Stiles as excuse to look at it. "I have these bunny teeth." He bares them, like a puppy trying to growl.

Stiles smiles helplessly at him. "I don't know what you're talking about," he says.

"So," says Scott deliberately. "Lydia."

"Oh, right," says Derek. "How's that going? I saw you talking to her the other day."

"Oh, yeah, that was nothing. Math notes."

"You know, I think she still thinks we're dating or something? She said something about it."

"Ha!" says Stiles. "I forgot I even said that. That's so funny."

"Well, that's probably not helping. You should clear that up. Anyway, I'm rooting for you, man," says Derek, patting Stiles on the back and leaving his hand there. It's big and warm. Maybe if he keeps very still, Derek will forget to move it.

"Yeah, me too," he says vaguely.

"You know what _I_ think?" says Scott.

"Nobody asked you, Scott."

"I want to know what you think, Scott," says Derek, moving his hand away.

"Big surprise, your wolf brother wants to hear all about it," Stiles grouses.

"See?" says Scott. "Derek asked me. _I_ think that it's pretty convenient how the _one person_ you're supposedly interested in has a boyfriend and has already rejected you, like, a million times."

"In what universe is that convenient?"

"Because it's an excuse not to try with anyone else! It's like if I said, oh sorry mom, I totally would get a summer job but I have my heart set on NASA so I'm only applying to them. I know I've applied every other summer and they've turned me down, and I'm not even bothering to apply this year because I know I won't get a job there, but I just wouldn't be happy working anywhere else!"

"You're saying I _want_ to die a virgin?"

"I'm saying you'd rather be single than risk getting rejected."

"I'm the king of being rejected! Nobody gets rejected like me!"

"By _Lydia_ , who you've known isn't interested since before you had pubes." Derek chokes on his orange juice laughing, and turns red. "You haven't thought it was really going to happen since - ever. It doesn't hurt as much if you don't get your hopes up, right?" Scott continues blithely.

"You're being kind of an asshole, Scott."

"I'm just trying to get you to take a chance!"

"Well," says Derek, recovering, "I don't know. I think you and Lydia would be great together. You're both really smart, plus you could double date with Scott and Allison."

"Speaking of smart," says Scott, "tell Stiles about your paper on Sherman Alexie! He got 100%."

"That's... pretty much the whole story?" says Derek.

"No, talk him through it. It's really interesting, Stiles. You read the Lone Ranger and Tonto book, right?"

"Some of it," says Stiles. When the hell did Derek and Scott talk about Derek's paper? Was this all while he was visiting his grandmother, or have they been hanging out without him apart from that? Sure, he and Scott hang out without Derek, but that's different. He and Scott have been friends forever, and Scott wouldn't even know Derek if it weren't for Stiles. If it weren't for Stiles he wouldn't know Boyd or Kira either, and he probably wouldn't have got so close to Isaac.

"Dude," Scott's voice breaks into his thoughts, "are you even listening?"

"It's okay, it's really not that interesting," says Derek, biting his lip and looking down at his lettuce. Stiles suddenly gets the teeth thing, and he feels a stab of fondness. "Scott, I think Allison is waving at you."

"Oh, thanks!" says Scott, picking up his tray.

"You should go too, Stiles. Maybe talk to Lydia."

"What? No. Come on, I love Sherman Alexie, and I love it when you - I mean, I love hearing you - I just mean, I'm really interested in the paper. I'm sorry. You know how my brain works sometimes, or doesn't." He pillows his cheek on his hand and makes a show of listening intently. Or maybe makes a show of it being a show. Derek smiles reluctantly and starts talking again, and this time Stiles tries his best not to get distracted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short. Hopefully sweet.
> 
> This isn't gonna be ultra-long, which hopefully means I will finish it in less than a decade :)


	3. total, absolute, 100% FAILURE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Even if he did like me, you think he wants to be stuck with some underage kid while he's away at college on the other side of the country? Come on."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for Spin-the-Bottle related dubcon kissing. Nothing too traumatic (actually it's extremely traumatic, because TEENAGE LOVE LIVES ARE VERY TRAUMATIC, but the dubcon element is not so much the issue).

"This is gonna be so weird," moans Stiles. "Derek's going, Kira's going, Boyd's going... we can't even hang out with Lydia and Allison anymore since you guys broke up."

"Hey," says Scott, looking stung.

"I'm sorry, man, I didn't mean like it was your fault or anything. But like. It's just gonna be me, you and Isaac from now on. I got used to being part of a big crowd."

"We could always take some freshmen under our wing."

"I guess."

"I'm pretty sure I know who you're gonna miss the most."

"Give it a rest, Scott," says Stiles, looking at his shoes.

"I thought you were gonna say something to him tonight."

"I changed my mind."

"What? Why?"

"Even if he did like me, you think he wants to be stuck with some underage kid while he's away at college on the other side of the country? Come on."

"I think Derek is the type of guy who'd rather be with someone he really likes than a bunch of people he doesn't care about."

"Why do you even think he likes me? He's always talking about me and Lydia."

" _You're_ always talking about you and Lydia. At least when he's around. I think you should give it a shot."

"I'll think about it," says Stiles, just to shut him up.

*

The Hales are throwing a joint going away party for Derek, Kira and Boyd. Derek's leaving on a flight tomorrow morning; the others are sticking around for another week or so, and will probably have their own separate goodbyes. The party is really for Derek, and everybody knows it, but he insisted it was for all of them.

Laura went out and got a bunch of liquor - Stiles isn't sure how she managed it without Talia finding out, but the drinks are flowing and there's plenty to go around between them. Derek didn't invite anyone outside their friendship group, so it's pretty chill.

Stiles finds him on the swing seat at the end of the garden, picking at his beer label.

"Weird, huh?" he says. Derek shifts over to make room, but doesn't say anything. "Having a good night?"

"Yeah," says Derek. "You?"

"It's a fun party. But I'm gonna miss you, man."

"We'll still talk on facebook and stuff."

"It's not the same."

"You can come out and visit, if you want."

"Yeah, that would be really cool. You can show me around New York."

"It would give me an excuse to visit all the tourist spots."

"Oh, man, we HAVE to get a picture at the Empire State Building wearing matching I-heart-New-York t-shirts!"

"We can get it put on a fridge magnet."

Stiles smiles. "Listen, Derek. I need to tell you something."

"Yeah?"

There's a roar in his head. Once he crosses this line, there's no going back. This could be it. He swallows. "Nothing. Sorry. It doesn't matter, I just - I'm really glad I crashed your bathroom stall, that's all." He tries to make it land like a joke, but it comes out too raw.

"Me too," says Derek. They're looking at each other and for a second Stiles thinks maybe he _can_ do this. He starts to screw up all his courage into a little ball, and opens his mouth, but then - then Isaac is there.

"Hey, guys, Kira is _insisting_ we all play Spin the Bottle," he says.

"Do people do that in real life?"

Isaac shrugs. "I think she wants to try and kiss Scott."

"Oh, man, but Allison is here..."

" _She_ broke up with _him_ ," Isaac points out.

"That doesn't make it any less awkward. Christ. Come on, Derek, we gotta try and run interference here."

*

Since it's Derek's party, Derek gets first spin - again at Kira's insistence. Stiles isn't sure Isaac was even right about her motivations; if this is all about Scott, she's playing it very cool. Derek takes a deep breath and spins. The bottle lands on Lydia. Derek's face eyes fly guiltily to Stiles. Trust Derek to feel guilty about a game of chance. Stiles tries to convey "what can you do?" in a facial expression and shrugs. Derek starts crawling awkwardly across the circle to Lydia, and then hesitates. She grabs him by the collar and pulls him in, kissing him soundly, then lets him go with a smacking sound.

"Nice," she says, patting his face, which is a mask of horror. He looks at Stiles in supplication, his mouth a round O. Stiles can't help it - he hides behind his hands and snickers. Lydia has some balls, no doubt about it.

He can't pretend to be very interested in the next few kisses - except for the one where Isaac stands up and dips Scott in a Hollywood kiss, which gets a round of applause - until it gets to his turn. He fumbles the spin a little bit, stops it and tries again. It lands on Lydia.

Stiles feels sick, suddenly. Not that the idea of kissing Lydia is sickening, far from it, just - there are years and years of childish longing bound up in this moment. It's a lot of pressure. He starts crawling towards her, and the nail in the coffin is the look in her eye, like she's - resigned. Bracing herself. He sits back on his heels, takes her hand, and places a dry kiss on the back of her wrist. Most of the circle 'awww's, while Isaac jokingly boos and Boyd looks bored.

"Thanks, Stiles," says Lydia quietly, and gives him a genuine smile.

They close the circle without much more incident, at least as far as Stiles is concerned, and then Kira says "come on, Derek, once more for good luck." She doesn't look put out at all at having kissed Allison instead of Scott.

Derek rolls his eyes and gives the bottle a perfunctory spin.

It lands on Stiles.

Stiles is frozen, suddenly - he wants to kiss Derek, but this isn't right. He doesn't know how he's supposed to react; he'd tell himself nobody cares, that it's just another kiss in the long list of kisses that have happened tonight, but he can see Scott straighten up out of the corner of his eye, and he thinks Boyd and Kira are taking an interest too. Derek crawls towards him and gives him a rueful smile, then ducks down, dropping a kiss at the corner of his mouth. Their mouths are barely touching, but he could shift so that they are, or he could put his hand on Derek's cheek or in his hair, encourage him, guide him - but he can't. Not in front of all these people.

He feels the ghost of Derek's stubble after he pulls away, think he can feel it all over his body as goosebumps rise.

"I'm gonna get more drunk," says Boyd.

*

"What the hell was that?" says Scott.

" _None_ of this was my idea. I was trying to talk to him when this stupid thing happened."

"Christ. I'm sorry, Stiles. Me and Kira thought it might help."

" _What_?"

"I just, I didn't think you were gonna talk to him and I thought maybe if we gave you a little push - "

"Jesus, Scotty." He can't even be mad. Scott's so good-hearted. He thinks things should be simple. You like someone, you tell them, and maybe they like you back, and then you end up together, roll credits. If two people aren't getting with the program, just give them a little push. Scott loves deeply, but he doesn't overthink it. People like Stiles just don't work that way.

"You can still talk to him. Unless the kiss was so bad you don't want to anymore."

Stiles puts his face in his hands. "I still want to. It wasn't even a real kiss, but it was - it was good." He forces himself to breathe slowly. He's been too busy freaking out to really think about the kiss, but he can still smell Derek, feel the contrast between his soft lips and the sandpapery roughness of his beard. Honestly, he didn't know how much he wanted until now.

"I'll just have one more drink and then I'll do it. Okay? I'm gonna do it."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah! Yeah, I'm gonna do it."

Scott claps him on the back.

*

In the time it takes for Stiles to have one more drink, Derek seems to have had - a lot more than one.

"Hey Stiles! I'm sorry about the weird... ness, thing."

"It's okay. It wasn't that weird."

"No?"

"I mean, obviously it was a little weird, but I mean - not as weird as you and Lydia! Can you believe that?"

"Oh my God, Stiles, I am SO sorry..."

"Dude, it's fine. It was pretty hilarious actually. Is she a good kisser?"

"I don't really know. I mean, I'm sure she's great!" he says encouragingly. "I was just, kind of, it was all a bit crazy and fast."

"Yeah. Um, Derek - whoa, are you okay?"

Derek stumbles, his grip on the counter wavering. "I'm good," he says. He doesn't sound convinced.

"You want some water, maybe?"

"Water might be good."

Stiles turns to fill a glass, and when he turns back, Derek is crouched on the floor.

"Okay. Do you think maybe you need to vomit?"

"Maybe."

"Do you need any help?"

"I know how to vomit," says Derek miserably.

"I know you do, buddy, but - how about I help you to the bathroom, huh?"

*

After rubbing Derek's back and holding his hand while he throws up, Stiles lets the others know he crashed out. It isn't actually that late, but they're probably gonna get turfed out at around one by Talia anyway, so he decides to head back. He didn't drive, on the off-chance there'd be booze, and by the time he's walked home he's feeling pretty sober, especially as a light spray of rain starts when he's about halfway back. It isn't enough to soak him; if anything, it's refreshing.

Stiles concentrates on the sound of his footsteps instead of thinking about anything.

*

He starts awake with a mild headache and a dry mouth. The clock says 10:13 - his dad left for work a while ago. He could definitely just sit on the couch watching cartoons and eating cereal. He stares at the shapes his feet make under the covers, and grabs his phone. "I can't let it end like this," he texts to Scott, and pulls on some jeans.

An hour later, he takes out his phone again and dials Scott's number.

"Can't let what end like this?" says Scott.

"Scott, what the fuck am I doing? I'm halfway to the airport. What am I going to do, make a dramatic declaration of love at baggage check? Do I think I'm a Kate Hudson movie?"

"Stiles, breathe. You're halfway to the airport? What time is Derek's flight?"

"I don't even know! This was the worst plan ever!"

"Just, calm down. If you're halfway there you might as well keep going."

"I'm stuck in traffic. It's not even moving. This is terrible."

"Just... stay positive."

"I don't know what I'm doing, Scott. I just woke up and I was like, I need to say something to Derek before he leaves."

"You could call him?"

"I can't say this over the phone! I don't know if I can say it in person. I don't even know what I'm going to say."

"Stiles, just, stop panicking. It'll be okay."

"Oh, shit."

"What?"

"I just saw Talia's car."

"They're on their way too? That's perfect! Well, I hope they make the flight..."

"No, they're not on their way. She was coming back in the other direction. It's too late."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DUN DUN DUN!
> 
> The story is now complete. I'll post the concluding parts tomorrow and the next day, all going to plan!


	4. meeting the love of my life when there is a hickey on my neck

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Whoa, Stiles! Who's the vampire?"

**SEVEN YEARS LATER**

"Whoa, Stiles! Who's the vampire?"

"Please. Lydia. Volume."

"Sorry. _Who's the vampire_?" Lydia repeats in a stage whisper, smiling like a cat.

"Some guy. I think he was blond... ish."

"Not memorable, huh?"

"I think he could have been Mr Memorable the Amazing Memorable Man and I would still be struggling, quite honestly. I had a lot of shots last night. Waaaay too many shots."

"Did you have fun, at least?"

"Yeah, kinda. I'm paying for it now. But it was nice to remember what human contact feels like."

"Aw, honey. I'll give you human contact!" She ruffles his hair and presses a kiss to his cheek.

"Where was that ten years ago, huh? You would have made my life."

"You were a giant creep. Oh my God! Derek?"

"What are you - " he follows her eyes, and there he is, staring back at them. Derek's wearing a charcoal fitted peacoat. His beard is thicker, but neatly trimmed, and he's wearing glasses. He's still the most attractive man Stiles has ever seen. Stiles stands up in a rush as Derek makes his way over, and his head pounds in protest.

"Derek, what are you doing in San Francisco? Aren't you in New York? I mean, don't you live there?"

"Stiles, hi. I hardly recognised you, you look so different. Lydia, you haven't changed at all." Lydia smiles at him sweetly. "I'm just here visiting Cora, but I'm actually moving back West."

"Wow, that's great," says Stiles, raising his hands awkwardly. He wants to touch Derek, hug him or at least shake his hand, or _something,_ but the damn table's in the way and his body isn't obeying his brain. He's wearing a too-small thrifted hoodie over a long-sleeved t-shirt and his oldest pair of jeans, he's hungover, he probably smells bad.

"Why don't we all go to dinner so we can catch up?" says Lydia smoothly.

"Oh, man, I'd love to, but I'm actually getting on a bus in half an hour. I just stopped in to grab a cup of coffee first," he says, holding up his to-go cup. "I should get going, but it was good to see you." He turns back, nearly out of the door. "Oh, and congratulations! I'm really happy for you guys!"

Stiles sits down abruptly. "Oh, fuck."

"Fuck indeed," says Lydia. "I guess Cora didn't tell him about me." She purses her lips.

"Oh, God, Lydia, what am I gonna do?"

"Why do anything? You haven't spoken to him in at least five years, why should that change now?"

He looks at her, and despite himself he can feel tears gathering in his eyes. His head hurts and he's tired and his neck is throbbing.

"Oh, sweetie," she says, "still?"

He nods.

"Christ. Look, I'm going to talk to Cora and we're probably going to have a fight, but once we make up I'll get her to sort this whole thing out, okay?"

"No, God, I don't want to pass him notes through his sister. Don't say anything."

"Don't say anything? That's still your plan, after all these years?"

"I'll figure it out, okay? Just leave it alone. Please."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cora totally told Derek she has a girlfriend she wants him to meet. Her plan was they'd go out for brunch, and when Lydia got there she'd yell "surprise!". Cora finds this idea hilarious.


	5. never being able to pay my parents back what I owe them

Stiles is back in Beacon Hills for his dad's annual party, where he invites a bunch of people over - mostly emergency services personnel, but also a few friends. The McCalls are coming later, and Trudy from the diner is here. It's usually a mixed bag, but there's one person he really isn't expecting to see.

"Derek," he breathes. It feels as though the crowd parts as he makes his way over. It would probably be more accurate to say that Mrs Menken moves out of the way.

His dad always says, when it comes to a hug, let the other person let go first. That's not gonna be a problem. He leans his weight onto Derek, relearning the smell and feel of him. Maybe Derek's mom says the same thing, because this is turning into a long hug. Stiles really couldn't care less.

Derek lets him go at last. "I'm sorry we didn't get a chance to catch up last time I saw you."

"No, I was hoping I'd see you."

"What are you up to these days?"

"I'm an SEO Executive. Search engine optimisation," he elaborates at Derek's quirked brow. "I know, the glamour! But it's okay, actually. It suits me. How about you?"

"Well, I'm a firefighter."

"Right! It's funny, I always thought you would write. But what am I saying? That's so cool!"

"I do write, actually. A little bit."

"Yeah?"

"Well, I got a couple of poems published. And I wrote a novel. I was thinking of self-publishing, I don't know."

"I'd love to read it."

"Oh, no..."

"I'm serious. I'll pre-order it. I'll be your first customer."

"I think I could probably stand you a copy," says Derek wryly.

"Hey, can I just check, though - when you say you got poems published, was it like, through a website, and they charge you $80 for all three collected volumes? Because when I was eleven - "

Derek laughs and pushes him. "Fuck you, it was The Paris Review!"

"I think that's just part of the same scam," he says, and laughs with Derek, watching the way it makes his eyes crinkle. He isn't wearing his glasses today.

"So, how's Lydia?" says Derek.

"Lydia's great - listen, Derek,  I think you got the wrong impression about that. Lydia and I are, like, best friends, but we're nothing more than that. I haven't even thought about her that way for years."

"But - in the cafe - "

"We were just horsing around, I swear."

"So..." Derek gestures at his neck, then drops his hand. "You're with someone else?"

"Fuck, the hickey, no - look, don't judge me, okay?"  Derek frowns. "It was just some anonymous guy I hooked up with in a club."

"I wouldn't judge you for that."

"Of course you wouldn't, I know, I'm just a little embarrassed about it. I almost never do that."

"It wouldn't matter if you did."

"I know, I know, just - listen, I really need to talk to you about something, okay? How about I grab us a couple of beers and we head outside where it's quiet?"

*

He finds Derek at the side of the house, and hands him a beer.

"Do you remember when we kissed?" he says lightly.

Derek stares at his big hands around the bottle's neck. "Oh, man. Yeah. I don't know if you knew this, but I had a huge crush on you back then."

"You did?" says Stiles, his voice coming out as a whisper.

"Yeah. I was freaking out. I wanted to kiss you, but I didn't want our first kiss to be some stupid joke. That was how I thought of it, 'our first kiss'. Part of me was convinced there would be more. And then I freaked out, and I got so _drunk_..."

"Derek," Stiles says, squeezing his eyes closed so he won't have to watch Derek's face as he talks. He needs to get through this, this time. "I was crazy about you. I wanted to tell you, before you left, but I choked. You should have seen me, the first couple of months after you left for college. It was pathetic. And then I just... put those feelings away, somewhere I couldn't reach them. And we stopped talking, and if any of the guys said they ran into you I'd change the subject. I didn't want to touch it. But when I saw you in the city it all came crashing down on me and I realised it had never gone away. I don't know what that says about me. I guess I'm still crazy." He opens his eyes and Derek is smiling at him. God, he hopes that means what he thinks it means.

"Stiles," says Derek, still smiling, "that better be the last time you quote a Paul Simon lyric to me in the middle of a relationship talk."

"Are you - " he's cut off by Derek cupping his cheek and leaning in. He kisses him softly, testingly, just lips, no teeth or tongue.

"Our second kiss," says Derek.

"Shit. We could have been doing this for years. I wish I'd at least stayed friends with you."

"Me too," says Derek sadly, running a thumb over Stiles' lower lip.

"I'm such an idiot. But I'm - I'm kind of glad it turned out this way?"

"Yeah?"

"I don't think it would have lasted very long if we'd dated back then. I was so young, and you were in New York - "

"I want to think we would have made it work, but maybe you're right."

The sun is just beginning to set as they kiss for the third time ever, bathing them in a kind of golden-pink light. It's so sappy it probably warrants a heart wipe. But years of pent-up wanting suddenly hit Stiles all at once, leaving him feeling white-hot and desperate.

"This is really romantic and all," he mutters, "but how do you feel about ducking out early and going back to your place?"

"Stiles, this is your dad's party!" says Derek. "I can't just leave!"

"Tell him I put a gun to your head, I don't care. Come on. We should have been fucking like a decade ago."

"Oh my God, fine," says Derek, pulling him up. "You are gonna get me in so much trouble."

"That's the spirit," Stiles says, some kind of knot unfurling in his chest and floating away in the evening breeze.


End file.
